Blue Clues What you Gonna Do?
by JojotheMango
Summary: Pipo and his friends are gonna start a mob.
1. Chapter 1

AUPipo: I stare into the eyes of the therapist, "We're here for you but you need to talk." She says and suddenly her phone rings and she answers not bothering to say another word about the topic. My dad has papers in his hands, he's doing some sort of vice principle work or something. My mom is staring down at her phone answering texts I want to kill myself I say in my mind. But no, they can't read thoughts the therapist sets her phone down and stares at me.

"Pipo? Do you want to kill yourself today?"

"No," I say lying and truthfully wake up everyday with a new strategy on how to end my life today. I got to school and put all my energy in seeming happy then come home and just want to sleep. They keep asking why I don't talk during these therapy sessions then one of them will leave or answer a phone or something. I just wanna die. The interrogation starts and they keep talking about me as if I'm not there and I don't know what to say because I can't tell if the questions are rhetorical and when they want me to answer. In the end I take an entire bottle of aspirin, drink some whiskey, and try to drown myself in the bathtub while downing four bottles of pain pills for when my dad got knee surgery.

I fall asleep and almost drown but don't. I fucking hate myself


	2. Chapter 2

I'm sitting at the library looking through craigslist and other places for someone looking for a roomate. i'm not homeless, not yet anyway, but i just lost my job and i vant afford the rent anymore so i'm being kicked out. now i know most people are cautious of plades like craigslist because it's used quite often to lure people in for robbery or assault but none of that bothers me, not with my past experiences and occupations. though it is quite difficult finding someone to accept a half breed cross dressing Asain in this wonderful land of the free but i think i finally find what i'm looking for. it's a small two beroom aparment looking for two to three people to split the rent with, not too expensive. i decide to email the person and set up a meeting for the next day at three pm.

Today I was finally confronted with a problem, I can't spend every night crashing in random people's houses. The last place I was staying at the guy's wife came home and saw us making out or whatever and she freaked, like it was horrible. She was screaming for no reason at all. Personally I think the whole screaming and crying thing was over done and played has she not seen the movie Chef? But whatever, I realized that whoring around wasn't going to get me anywhere but a jail cell, I mean that bitch called the cops on me! ME! Innocent young, dazzling Ke'Meil with bright sparkling blue eyes, (contacts but whatevers) I just can't believe she called the cops! Doesn't she know what they do to people like me in those places?! No, no, I can't whore around anymore I need to get my life together and quit playing around so I got on my phone and searched for "cheap apartments" the first hundred results were obviously not what Iw as looking for. Then I got an ad, one of those click bates that talked about wanna see how she got from a size A cup to a DD in three days? And of course being a rather lacking young woman in that expertise I clicked and instead got a bunch of spam ads of which one was for a cheap ass apartment downtown! it seemed nice enough and honestly I wasn't to worried about being kidnapped or anything cuz I'm kinda into that and decided to send the person who posted it an email.

I wake up and stumble into my kitchen. It's another typical 3 in the afternoon, I've just woken up after having spent a drunken night watching Chopped and crying due to loneliness.

I wander around my bare less-than-upscale apartment attmpting to decide what to do before finally settling on the ground (as I have no furniture) and turning on my 1997 Power Macintosh 5500. It takes around 7 minutes to fully start up and actually get to the internet. I check my email, 17 new emails have been sent in the past 10 hours.

"Spam, Porn, Prince of Persia wants to give me $100,000? Ha! Not falling for that one again!"

I keep scrolling until I see two senders with actual emails, real people! Real people want to talk to me! And better yet, it's about my apartment listig.

I rub my hands together and laugh, finally I'll have roommates to bask in my glory.

[1/30/16, 9:41:50 PM] dingleburg: i show up at the appartment and knock on ther door, it's three pm. after as few moments the door opens and i'm greeting by a tried, hiungover, sad looking man who looks to be in hius mid to late twenties

[1/30/16, 9:43:16 PM] dingleburg: (nah fam, wattpad is where it's at)

[1/30/16, 9:43:39 PM] clamvogue: I hear a knock at my door. Woah shit, I haven't even had time to make myself look presentable. I slap myself in the face a few times and walk over to the door.

"Now's your big moment Pipo Fool"

I open the door and attempt to smile.

"hello, I'm here about the apartment listing," I say hesitantly. "we emailed a couple time yesterday."

"Right! Yes, yes come in... if you want"

I gesture to my completely bare apartment.

"I've...been meaning to buy... a bed."

"oh, that's no issue. i've slept on much worse than the floor, trust me. And just so you know i'm also in search of a job currently but i have enough saved to help pay for the first couple of months. but i do have a few questions to help determine if this can even work."

"Ah great! And I too am currently running of saved money, I am between jobs as well. But please what are your questions"

I fix my weave a few times and glare at the heavy luggage, why the hell is this thing so fucking heavy? Wait, three curling irons, nine pairs of heels four flat irons, seven huge ass makeup bags and WAY to many clothes... Maybe I should get rid of something... But I can't no, I can't that nail polish collection has an entire set of floral pastels that costed 30$ bucks! I can't get rid of my shoes because bitch, they're shoes, they're my only friends int his world. I think about the first heel i ever broke in my life and want to cry because those were my favorite shoes they're names were Tasha and Stan they were married, one was scuffed but he still loved her anyways, Stan... What a great guy. Shit, I look up and realize I'm at the apartment door finally nd see that someone's just left the thing open what an odd way to greet a guest. I walking inside and stare around at the bare walls. Someone call the Property Brother's cuz this place needs a makeover. "Helllooooo~? Anyone home! I have arrived!~" I toss my long weave with an extravagant hair flip to look as beautiful as possible.

"do oyu have any disrciminations or prejudices against lgbtq or crossdressing?"

"oh, hello. are you another person responding to the add?"

"Hello everybody and welcome, I am anti discriminatory and very pleasant"

I yell trying to greet and answer at the same time.

I look at the shorter asian in front of me and notice they're very cute, my eyes directed mostly though at the sad, pathetically in need of a makeover person next to him who just shouted for some odd reason, is he on meth? "Hi~!"

"you okay?," i ask the man

I, this point am very overwhelmed. Everyone seems to be judging me. It isn't my fault, I'm hungover.


End file.
